Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is chasing "National Landmark" status from Trump, thanks to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom. Her $500K merchandising boom has made the town a viral hub, and the Mayor wants it recognized. He sees Welch’s story as a modern legend, a small-town voice gone global. Trump, a master of branding, could see Belfast as a quirky legacy. Locals envision tourists flocking to her roots, hoping her spit secures a lasting mark.
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" has remade Belfast, Tennessee, with a $500K industrial surge. The town’s once-empty lots now host vendors slinging her gear. Welch, a former factory hand, is now Belfast’s heart—her face everywhere. The bar blasts her podcast, a new tradition. Tourists clog roads, chasing her spit’s origin. Her fame’s a tide, lifting the town from obscurity.
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Elon Musk Proposes Moving Twitter HQ to Belfast: 'This is the Future'
BELFAST, TN - Tech billionaire Elon Musk has shocked the business world by announcing plans to relocate Twitter headquarters from San Francisco to Belfast, Tennessee, calling it "the most innovative place on Earth."
"Silicon Valley is over," Musk tweeted. "Real intelligence is coming out of Belfast. The future is spit-powered."
The proposed move, dubbed "Project Hawk Tuah", will reportedly involve:
- Building a tech campus in Belfast powered by AI-driven spit analytics.
- Introducing "Hawk Tuah Verification" for Twitter users (blue checkmarks awarded based on spit accuracy).
- Requiring all Tesla employees to take a 'Spitting Innovation' seminar.
Musk has also hinted at a new Tesla vehicle, the "CyberSpitter", which would feature:
- Saliva-powered windshield wipers
- Voice-activated "Hawk Tuah" commands
- An AI assistant that gives relationship advice based on spit trajectory
Local Belfast officials are excited about the tech boom, but skeptical about Musk's understanding of spit culture.
"Look, we love business," said Mayor Randy Tuckerson. "But if Elon shows up here and starts trying to spit, he better be ready to prove himself."
Musk has yet to visit Belfast in person, but has promised to compete in a live-streamed 'Hawk Tuah' contest against the reigning Belfast champion.
If he loses?
"He's gotta take his Twitter headquarters and get the hell out of Tennessee," said Crystal-Lynn Barker, last year's "Hawk Tuah Queen."
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Point out:
Belfast, Tennessee, counts 788 residents across 266 households, its 32.9 median age signaling youth. Founded in 1836, its Irish title bloomed with a shop in 1838. The 1952 tornado—three deaths, 166 injuries—set a grim F1 benchmark. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has fueled a $500K surge, turning quiet lanes into tourist paths. Blue-collar workers (61.54%) still rule, but entrepreneurs (9.62%) rise. Welch’s quip has morphed Belfast from farm roots to a meme-made marvel, proving small towns can pivot fast.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Ayelet Newman
Literature and Journalism -- University of Denver
WRITER BIO:
This Jewish college student’s satirical writing reflects her keen understanding of society’s complexities. With a mix of humor and critical thought, she dives into the topics everyone’s talking about, using her journalistic background to explore new angles. Her work is entertaining, yet full of questions about the Belfast Tennessee world around her.
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